THE HOMER REPORT
"I REPORT

YOU DECIDE"
"If you're gonna sell Betty, what Betty buys, then you have to see it through Betty's eyes"
The Song and Dance
    The Puppet Master, Edgar the Weatherman and Uncle
    Bobby had a short meeting recently. All we can say is
    our informants are working DILIGENTLY. They are
    CONSUMED by this stuff too.

    As the meeting started, it is clear who the PUPPET
    MASTER is. He stands in front of Uncle Bobby and
    Edgar the Weatherman, with his unlit cigarette in his
    right hand and waving his hands around while he is
    speaking. This goes on for a while. Uncle Bobby and
    the Weatherman are both looking up the Puppet
    Master, like first graders would look at
    Superman................. in AWE.

The Puppet Master:
    "Bill you are so good for the horseman. If you get
    them to agree and I will take care of you on this end.
    Matt's BarBQ sure sounds good doesn't it. I can't
    give you any of the Telephone Account Wagering.
    But, I can take two or three days off of your regular
    meet and you can use that money on the other days.
    We'll make it look like a purse increase. Sounds
    good.....doesn't it Bill? You owe it to your people Bill.
    They are your people. Remember...They pay you. Do
    what I tell you....And I will take care of you on this
    end."

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "Thank you Puppet Master, I couldn't agree more. I
    am the best man for these horsemen. You know me,
    I will do everything I can to get the BOARD to agree
    with your proposal. You should be really proud of me
    Joe. These guys really trust me. I think we need to
    keep this Telephone Account Wagering thing as
    quite as we can. We don't need any of that money,
    even if it does accounts for over 60% of the yearly
    handle. Anyway, if you need a starter for any reason,
    let me know, I want to start the races. I don't have a
    clue, but what the heck, it's only "the horsemen" and
    "the betting public". If I screw up, it won't cost me
    any money......you still pay the same even if I screw
    up, right? Will you pay for my Starter's license,
    Puppet Master? Don't worry....I'm your man.
    Just don't forget me! Include me! I'm your man!
    Remember that. Uncle Bobby is with us all the way.
    I've got him right where I want him. Uncle Bobby, do
    you have any comments? What about Thunder Ridge
    and Bluegrass Downs? What's the special at Matt's
    today?

Uncle Bobby:
    Thank you, I agree with what you're saying. Whether
    it makes good sense or not, I agree with you. Also,
    Bill "I've said it once and I will say it again, and I stand
    behind what I say with NO APOLOGIES....'I'm not
    going to Bluegrass Downs. If I have to go to or
    race at Bluegrass Downs, I will quit my job as
    President and get out of the horse business'.
    The last time I said that, I said right in front of
    Bluegrass Downs General Manager. He knows how I
    feel about that place. They got my number..if they
    want something they can call me. You know me, I will
    help you on that Telephone Account Wagering
    thing too. We don't want any of that money. 0% is
    fair enough. Bill agrees...that's why I like him so
    much. And besides.....It's not anyone's business
    what you do with the track's money. When I talk...
    people listen. Ain't that right, Bill. Let's throw a little
    bone out there to keep these guys quiet. That's my
    suggestion.

    The Puppet Master now lighting his cigarette..........
    continues to wave it around as he speaks. Uncle
    Bobby and Edgar the Weatherman are both really
    excited now. Edgar the Weatherman got so excited,
    he tinkled in his pants.

The Puppet Master:
    "Good idea Uncle Bobby!!! We need a little diversion.
    So let's throw a bone out there in GOOD FAITH. In
    GOOD FAITH.....that is a good phrase. Bill, I want you
    to use that phrase alot.......it sounds good,
    'IN GOOD FAITH'. What ever you guys do, don't let
    them get into deep questioning about Telephone
    Account Wagering. I wouldn't want anyone to find
    about the two guys in "the room". I have to say, 'I
    don't know if they are betting through the system or
    the Telephone Account Wagering system. I just know
    they are high rollers. I said HIGH ROLLERS.
    Remember guys take care of me.....and I will take care
    of you. Get Bluegrass and the Ridge to do what I
    want and there will be a bonus for you.

The Puppet Master:
    "It's a good thing WE like EACH OTHER!!"

Uncle Bobby:
    "I AGREE!"

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "I AGREE!.......TOTALLY"

Mack of All Trades:
    "WAIT GUYS!!! DON'T FORGET ME!!! COUNT ME IN!!
    YES..YES...SIR...I AGREE...SIR.....I ALWAYS AGREE!!
10/5/07

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