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Editor's Note
Welcome. As you read The Homer Reports,
keep one thing in mind; it's suggested that
you know what you stand for and what you
won't fall for. Transparency is my game. And
remember, it's not our job to make a
dumbass look smart, and it doesn't
matter if they are positive or negative.
Enjoy!
THE 2010 READER'S CHOICE HOMER REPORTS
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"The Swaymi's" Corner
The Swaymi's View @ Homer Report
It's been a good little while, and I hope you've
missed me as much as I've missed you.

Recently I attended a luncheon where 3
surgeons were discussing who makes the
best patients to operate on.
The 1st surgeon said,
"Electricians are the best, everything inside is
color coded."

The 2nd surgeon says,
"No, I think librarians are, everything inside
them is in alphabetical order"

The 3rd surgeon shut them up
when he said:
"You're all wrong. KHHA directors are the
easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no
heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus,
the head and the ass are interchangeable!"
Whenever there's
an 800lb gorilla
in the room, you       
must deal                  
with him..
--CNN  news--
Homer Report Factoid
One thing nobody in Lexington will argue
with and that is:
Kevin Thomas is pretty high on
Kevin Thomas.
The Homer Report Team would like to
thank Kevin Thomas for this information
Gabby....If we're wrong,
we want ya to know
Since we like to be fair and make amends
when we are wrong on any......thing, we
promise to send Gabby a brand spankin
new pair if KHAKI SHORTS, FLIPFLOPS,
and a T-SHIRT that says I Love Harness
Racing on front and back, just to attend
meetings....if we are wrong on anything.
by Chase Nichols
October 31, 2011
Comparisons

(These two characters seem to have an awful lot in
common. But HEY, its not for The Homer Report Team to
decide. My friends, you read and come to your own
conclusion.)

Barney fancies himself an expert on firearms, women, singing
and just about any other topic of conversation brought up while
he is around. Conversely, Andy knows that Barney's false
bravado is a smokescreen for his insecurities, and low
self-confidence.

Barney is often overly analytical and alarmist about benign
situations. He takes a minor infraction, blows it out of proportion,
and then concocts an elaborate solution to resolve it. This only
inflicts tremedous angst his superior.

Barney is zealous about law enforcement, regularly spouting off
penal codes and ordinances to thugs and jaywalkers alike.

An emotional powderkeg, Barney often overreacts with panic,
despair or bug-eyed fear. He has what he describes as a "low
sugar blood content." Barney is smug and self-confident, until
true leadership is sought, whereupon he dances about in a fluster.

Outwardly "a man of the world," Barney is truly naïve and easily
duped. This gullibility is evident. Once he was conned into buying
a lemon from a crafty old widow.

Nonetheless, Barney still has his rare moments of courage and
loyalty. Episodes demonstrate Barney's ability to rise up to
challenges which just absolutely delights his superiors.

To have this much in common doesn't really prove
anything, but it does make you wonder....IS IT POSSIBLE
these two could be long lost brothers????????
~ Lawman Rich Willams ~
- Barney Fife (BR549) -