| The Homer Report |
| PACING COP pulls Homer over A long time ago in town far, far away. Let us bring you the story about PACING COP. Many years ago he barely kept his family fed. Of course this was before he landed his highly profiled position as the weatherman. This day is the day that PACING COP walk off his job. What happened? Read AS THE STORY GOES |
Homer was cruising down Preston Highway, doing
85 in a 55 speed zone. (Back then the speed limit
was 55 mph).
Now..PACING COP was hiding out behind THE
TOY TIGER when Homer went by. The blue lights
were flashing in Homer's rear view mirror. So he
pulled over. PACING COP flashed his badge and
began to speak.
PACING COP: (Standing tall and proud--with a smile)
Homer: (Pulling out his license and title)
PACING COP: (As he strokes his mustache)
Homer:
PACING COP:
Homer:
WIDE--OPEN, spinning his tires throwing rocks all
over PACING COPS patrol car.
We don't know how it ended, but we do know this.
PACING COP didn't chase Homer. He lost his
tickets. He also turn his badge in the next day.
85 in a 55 speed zone. (Back then the speed limit
was 55 mph).
Now..PACING COP was hiding out behind THE
TOY TIGER when Homer went by. The blue lights
were flashing in Homer's rear view mirror. So he
pulled over. PACING COP flashed his badge and
began to speak.
PACING COP: (Standing tall and proud--with a smile)
- Could I see your license mister, along with your title.
Homer: (Pulling out his license and title)
- Yes sir.
PACING COP: (As he strokes his mustache)
- Do you know why I pulled you over?
Homer:
- No sir.
PACING COP:
- I clocked you doing 85 mph. The speed limit on this
stretch of highway is 55 mph. Mr Homer, I have must
write you a speeding ticket.
Homer:
- Before you write that ticket I want to tell you
something. And you can WRITE THIS DOWN.
This my TRUCK. I PAID for this TRUCK....with my
MONEY. I will drive MY TRUCK anyway I want to.
Now when I leave here, I'm gonna be doing WIDE--
OPEN. And if you pull me over, one of two things is
gonna happen--you're either gonna have to WHOOP
MY ACE or I'm gonna WHOOP YOUR ACE. But one of
us is getting an ACE WHOOPIN.
Now, you can write your ticket anyway you want and
stick it where the sun don't shine. I don't care.
WIDE--OPEN, spinning his tires throwing rocks all
over PACING COPS patrol car.
We don't know how it ended, but we do know this.
PACING COP didn't chase Homer. He lost his
tickets. He also turn his badge in the next day.
Homer Simmpson
4/24/08
Senior Columnist / Reporter / Journalist /
Correspondent / Editor / Publisher / General
Manager / Sports Writer / Ambulance Driver.
For KyHarnessRacing.com
4/24/08
Senior Columnist / Reporter / Journalist /
Correspondent / Editor / Publisher / General
Manager / Sports Writer / Ambulance Driver.
For KyHarnessRacing.com
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