homernyr09

"I REPORT

YOU DECIDE"

A rchives

The Homer Report

1/1/08

                  Cornbread Mafia Style
           NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Uncle Bobby -
(After much thought he had this to say)

#3 -

This year, I hope to smooth things over with the Godfather by sucking up.

#2 - Uhhh, I will try to rely less on the knowledge of Edgar the Weatherman.

#1 - Umm,

will resign as President, Uhhh before I get the axe.

Edgar the Weatherman -
(Without thinking at all - not blinking an eye - he responded)

#3 - For the coming year, just like in years past, I

will continue to have nothing to do with the fairs.

#2 - I will take on more responsibility, because my current position occupies very little time.

#1 - In 2009, instead of just beating around the bush, I will make a game of it and answer every

question with another question.

Boy Wonder -
(As he responded he checked his brand new imitation Rolex, a Christmas gift from Batman)

#3 - I will use the bathroom before going on

date.

#2 - 2009 is the year I

'll

take control because I started taking Enzyte and my confidence is way up.

#1 - I

ill, single-handedly,

put fear into the eyes of Brian Loney a

will learn

to respect my authority.

Batman -
(With his mask on)

My goal this year is to introduce Commission

Gordon

Uncle Fester -
(With a grin, Uncle Fester asked what is a resolution and asked for multiple choice)

#3- Smoke less crack

, eat less light bulbs,

and grow more weed

#2- Now that I understand the drug test, I’ll try to lay off the drugs before a job interview.

#1- One night during the Red Mile meet, I will set a Guinness record for

yelling

the most profanities in a three

hour time period.

Palms Up -
(As he eats a chicken wing)

#1- No more buffets for me and I will join Gamblers Anonymous.

The Cajun Man -
(He unenthusiastically answered)

#3- I will focus more on my fantasy NASCAR team and try to place in the top ten.

#2- If possible, I want to try a new menu that features higher prices and less quality.

#1- I hope to run off

racetrack

customers so that I

an concentrate more on my customers

Joe the Plumber -
(Couldn’t wait until his turn, he jumped to the front of the line to answer, so I put his response last)

#3- I will show people that I am the smartest person in the room everywhere I go.

#2- In 2009, there will be more out of competition testing because it went so well in 2008. The only difference

will be, instead of testing stakes horses we will test claimers and people who have no reputation.

#1- I hope to take a long vacation after all the work I do for

horse

racing in Kentucky.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!