THE HOMER REPORT
"IIIIIII'M
WATCHING
YOU"
A Friend's "Unwarranted" Letter

Before sending out a letter...be sure the letter is not
UNWARRANTED. Also, a FRIEND....or shall I say a good
FRIEND can sometimes make YOU do things that are
UNWARRANTED.

Don't let this happen to you. Make sure your FRIEND isn't just
using you or being dishonest with you. Make sure they are truely
your FRIEND.

And, last but surely not least...make sure when you say
UNWARRANTED....you know it is UNWARRANTED.
    sing along here folks
Where is Kevin.... Where is Kevin

I'm not there.....I'm not there.

How are you today sir.....very well I thank
you....Run--away....Run--away.

    Standing at the draw gate Monday night
    I thought to myself something was
    amiss.  I trotted to the general offices....
    NO MACK.......I then ran to the race
    secretarys office......NO MACK.......I
    rushed back outside and looked skyward
    to the announcers stand.... NO MACK.  
    I slowly lowered my eyes downward to
    the judges stand......again NO
    MACK........on a last stitch effort I
    looked in the starting gate.....first to the
    front for the driver and then to the rear
    for the starter........go ahead and
    guess.......NO MACK!.......

    At first I started to panic...OMG!!....
    but then thought to myself, GET A HOLD
    OF YOURSELF.....

    The Red Mile has 12 other perfectly
    capable racing officials to guide the ship
    when Mack works the sales in another
    state on a Red Mile race night. Just goes
    to show you.....TO BE CONTINUED.
Good Business or Plain Deception

We recently seen an ad from a higher end trainer
wanting horses to train. This is how the ad read;

    "I am 'The Greatest' that is understood.............

    I train stake horses only....primarly trotters. I
    don't have a set day rate...somewhere between
    $30 and $50 a day depending on how much
    money you have.

    I am the best. If your horse goes lame or breaks
    a bone in early February, I won't worry you...I
    just won't tell you...I will just call you and tell
    you how good she is training.

    And if you make a surprise visit on an early
    March morning around 10am...I will tell you that
    your horse has already jogged and jogged like a
    champ. I probably won't mention that it was
    over 6 weeks ago since she last jogged or hit
    the track.

    I will say go ahead and stake her to whatever
    you want....and I won't have a problem watching
    you sink another $10,000 or $12,000 in stake
    payments. I want to keep you as an owner...
    better yet, I want to keep you in my billing
    system...at least for a couple more months.

    Now keep in mind, I have trained and developed
    several stakes winners. I am simply the best.

    Like I said........I am 'The Greatest' that is
    understood....but.......even I didn't know.....I...
    could...... 'PITCH'...... that good."
Safety Helmets Required

    Safety helmets are to be used
    in every racing event. So that's
    what the rule book says.

    Important Driver: Oh wait
    just a minute I have a Doctor's
    excuse saying that the helmet is
    to heavy and is hurting my neck. I
    can't wear one. The Doctor says so.

     The Judge: Ok...I will make
    an exception for you, because of
    who you are...without you the
    show won't go on. I'm so glad you
    make me look like a monkey.
"The Most Valuable Commodity I Know Of Is Information" - T.C.
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THAT'S RIGHT.
It's what you
think it is. And
   believe-me.
    YOU don't   
     want to go
        there.
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A special thanks to: Bill, Alan, Don and Mike
for their help in this Homer Report.
Other Homer Reports
8/28/07