"If you're gonna sell Betty, what Betty buys, then you have to see it through Betty's eyes"
THE HOMER REPORT
"IIIIIII'M
WATCHING
YOU"
10/17/07
Favorites
4/26/07
Big Chuck, The Skipper
and his Little Buddy

8/23/07
Ring-a-ling

9/11/07
Shhhhhhh!
Be Ve-wee Ve-wee Quiet

9/14/07
Uncle Bobby
Does it again

9/21/07
"Nobody"

9/30/07
"The Paparazzi"

10/5/07
"Song and Dance"
Favorites
More
Archives
Below


6/8/07
Soar like an Eagle
6/20/07
What's he worth

7/29/07
Who's to Blame

8/16/07
Edgar the
Weatherman

8/28/07
Where is Kevin

9/7/07
Guess Who I Am

9/25/07
Informant's Transcript

10/10/07
Dictionary
The D.A. of the Year Award

The end of the year is upon us. And it's that time of year for someone to be crowned the
D.A. of the Year. At this time, we have some nominees in the top running. You can vote
on which one you think deserves it most. Or, you can nominate someone that isn't on the
list, along with a reason why they should be crowned.
Along with a statement, in their own words of why they want to be crowned...
DDDRRRRUUUMMM ROLL......Here are the NOMINEES! for........ D.A. of the YEAR.

UNCLE BOBBY
    "I am President of the Association. I sold out the horsemen (for winter training),
    as I represented them on their behalf, and now they don't get any percentage (that
    would be 0% for those who don't clearly understand), of the money bet on
    Telephone Account Wagering. I also got fined for arrogantly not wearing my safety
    vest. I believe in, and fully support any and everything that Edgar the Weatherman
    says. I have Worked and I am currently Working relentlessly to destroy the most
    informative site for harness racing in Kentucky. I am currently working hard to get
    the site shut down. I have so many more reasons to be crowned, that you wouldn't
    believe me, (EVEN IF I TOLD YOU)...........But I was told to keep it short."

EDGAR THE WEATHERMAN
    "I am the Executive Secretary (not the Executive Director) of the Association. I am
    also a starter. I started races for 6 years without having a Starter's License (KHRA...
    PLEEEASE TAKE NOTICE). I overlooked the Safety Vest rule and failed to bring it
    before the board. I like to keep what I do a secret unless it is really good. And you
    learn to agree with me...or else me and Uncle Bobby will make it very hard on
    you. I also lobbied hard to get the fair rule changed...might I add, that I did it in a
    way that no one knew, or so, I thought. I also lobbied hard for the position on a
    council, when I knew there were many people, with more qualifications than myself...
    but hey,  it makes me look good....EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT HOW
    DRUGS WORK on horses. HEY!!! DON'T FORGET!!! I TOO, have worked hard......I
    HAVE!!, since day 1.....and I am CURRENTLY working very hard to destroy the
    most informative site for harness racing in Kentucky. I also, am currently working to
    get the site shut down. People just don't need to know what we do. My modo is
    "The Less You Know, The Better Off I Am". Since they have told me to keep it
    short I will stop here...but I have so much more to say. PLEASE VOTE FOR ME...I
    deserve it...and besides, if there's an award to be given, and I don't get to pick
    who it is gonna be....then it must be given to me. I want a pay raise."

THE TRADES MAN
    "I work so many positions. I really don't know which position to tell you I hold, since
    I have so many. I know that I worked, as a bid spotter, at a sale recently. And on
    the same days, I know that I was scheduled to start at the track, and it would have
    been much easier to get a bid spotter, than a starter. But, the main reason I chose
    to work the horse sale was because, I was committed to them. I'm not really that
    committed to the track. I will say, that while I've held so many positions, like the
    announcer at the mile track for example, that I wouldn't let anyone have that job....
    even when they offer their services for free. I didn't want to take the chance that
    someone else might get paid for that position or interrupt my game plan. That's the
    way I operate....What's in it for me. Oh yeah....remember horsemen.....I can only be
    LOYAL to whoever pays me the most."


Remember, D.A. does NOT stand for District Attorney. A nominee will be  
crown the D.A. of the Year at the end of this month.
Home Page
Last week's Report
Print version