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11/24/08
                    "DA of the Year"
                            Nominations

    Well, the end of the year is upon us, it's that time of year again. It's that time of year for
    someone to be crowned the D.A. of the Year. The nominations for "DA of the Year" has almost
    past.  At this time, we have some nominees in the top running. You can vote on which one
    you think deserves it most. Or, you can nominate someone that isn't on the list, along with a
    reason why they should be crowned.
                 (Remember folks -- DA does NOT stand for District Attorney.)

         **** DDDDDDRRRRRUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM ROLL PLEASE****

            Along with a statement, in their own words of why they want to be crowned........
                                Here are the NOMINEES! for D.A. of the YEAR!

Uncle Bobby (the Green Monkey of harness racing)
    "Uuummmm Uuhh ummm uummm uh uh ummm ummm ummmm uuhh uhhh umm uhm.
    I like being President of the association. But, what I really like being known as is the DA of the
    Year. (And I've also been known to ramsack other people's TACK ROOM.)

    I am the best man for this award. Who else but me could SINGLE - HANDEDLY get Winter
    Training ABOLISHED at The Red Mile. Think about it folks, my boy Thomas offered to get the
    track their uncollected stall rent ($200,000), and the Godfather said no way. And don't forget
    how "BRAVE or STUPID" (ever how you want to look at it) I was in talking trash about a horse
    trained by the Godfather's son. So I want you to know that money WAS NOT the issue with
    winter training --- IT WAS all ME ME ME. Ok enough said about Winter Training......but
    remember IT WAS ME that got it abolished...ME.

    Another happening earlier in the year was when I got busted on horseplop. (LOL) I am known
    as "downtheroad" on that site. I wasn't scared to stand up and talk trash about all those
    good folk. I thought most of them had it coming anyway....you know -- I am the President.
    Nowadays I just go on Horseplop to observe, I don't never say anything anymore under my
    alias "downtheroad". However, I do keep in tune on Barn to Wire and other sites.

    Anyway, there are so many more reasons why I should be revoted "DA of the Year", but I
    have a meeting to go to. I have to meet with Joe. (Don't worry though, I won't mention a
    peep about the ADW. mums the word)

    So, folks, my promise to you is -- Y'all vote me "DA of the Year" again, and I will continue to
    make an JACKASS out of myself, in every fashion. That I can guarantee.

Boy Wonder
    "For those of you that don't know me, let me tell you, there is nobody that deserves this
    award more than myself. For those of you that do know me, you already know that I am a
    true DA. I mean, who other than myself would ever say to Ron Gurfein on the telephone,
    "YOU CAN CALL BACK AT 8am IN THE MORNING, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES!!!!!" Keep in
    mind he was just wanting to make a driver change. I, Boy Wonder, left the Hall of Famer RON
    GURFEIN speechless.

     (Well actually I must admit, I slammed the phone down after I said what I had to say.)

    I don't care if he trains horses for the same person that writes my paycheck. I don't even care
    that he is best friends with George. That's what makes me the best man for the "DA of the
    Year" award.

    I love showing these Hall of Famers just how much power I have. I showed Hall of Famer
    Ronnie Gurfein. I've shown Hall of Famer Billy O'Donnell a thing or two also. Hey another
    thing, when I'm speaking to these guys, I usually talk out of my ass. An example of this is, I
    always like to remind people like Billy O and the Guru, that I used to train horses. So I know
    what I'm doing. I also must mention the time I got into an argument with Brian Loney on the
    phone, and he wasn't even on the phone -- He had his employee standing beside him talking
    for him. I argued with a trainer on the phone through his employee. How smart is that. I tell
    ya.......I deserve this award more than anyone else. I have proven to be the biggest DA to
    ever step foot in Kentucky. Hey folks don't vote for me. I don't need your votes. I'm just that
    good. And don't forget about the time I took my date through the car wash.

    Don't misunderestimate me, I'm smarter than I look. But----I am still NATURALIST-BORN DA.

Uncle Fester
    "I don't know how I got nominated, but it's an honor just to think that a guy like me has a
    chance to be "DA of the Year". In case you people don't know me, I made a real impact at The
    Red Mile this year -- And with the JUDGES approval mind you. If you found profane language
    offensive, and it didn't matter if there was women and children around I still talked that way
    -- But anyway, if you found that offensive then you might have found me a little obnoxious --
    Because, I definitely did not hold back. I told it like it was. And the Judges, they loved me.
    They watched from above. They just sat back and laughed.

    The other thing I've done this year is I went down to that South Florida racetrack to get a job
    as tractor driver. I've always wanted to be a driver so this was my chance. I got down there
    and the man doing the interview ask me a trick question. He asked, "So how long will it take
    you to study for that drug test?" I answered, "Aww, about thirty days". Then he said "We're
    not hiring anyone at this time, come back and see me in awww, about ninety days." How was
    I supposed to know he was gonna ask a trick question......I was trying to get a job and just
    being honest.

    If you find humor with me literally yelling and cussing  people because there horse pooped in
    the paddock stall, then vote for me. If you find it offensive for me to yell and cuss people,
    even if it's a woman and there are children nearby, then vote me in. And remember, Batman
    and Boy Wonder loved it when I talked to people inappropriately. Their approval made it all
    that much better.

    I know and you know that I am already a DA, but I want to be the DA of the Year."

Joe the Plumber
    Well folks, I've been so good for the horse industry, that I am a little lost for words here. I
    know that doesn't sound like me, but it's the truth. I've been told that I'm in the running for
    the "DA of the Year". I don't really think I deserve this award, but if you're going to give it to
    me, then give it to me base on what I have said, and not what I have done. One thing that
    comes to mind is one of my most recent statements I made to the media. As I've always
    believed, those owners were known in the industry for their integrity. They would rather not
    be in the horse business than have horses like that.

    To me there are things that happen that are bad for the business, but it really depends on
    who you are. My beliefs are exactly why I should be crowned.

The Cajun Man
    Where do I begin? I have the highest priced beer in the country. I have a high dollar burger
    that is very low in beef. I sell stale nachos, but I make up for that by giving away sour milk
    (cream for my award winning coffee) for free. I guess that's about it for me.

    Oh wait!!! I wouldn't want to go without mentioning that I cleverly made an ass out of myself
    with the biggest bourbon distillery in the country -- They knew and I knew, and that's
    all that matters. But I thought you should know if you're voting.

    One more thing before I go. I want everyone to know that I am a HUMANITARIAN. I have
    provided a place for roaches to live for years now. They check in and stay as long as they
    wish.

    Remember - I define the DA in DA of the Year. So VOTE for me, vote for the LIL' CAJUN MAN.