"If you're gonna sell Betty, what Betty buys, then you have to see it through Betty's eyes"
THE HOMER REPORT
"IIIIIII'M
WATCHING
YOU"
9/25/07
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JEFF
BUMPUS
for
President
Bumpy says
"WOE OVA"
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The Association had a meeting on Wednesday evening.
This was another secret meeting. Although, we were not
there, we did manage to have our own secret recorder in
the room. We had our recorder there, but one of our
informants kindly brought us a transcript of the meeting.
Thank you MR. INFORMANT.

           The Informant's Transcript

Uncle Bobby: (Hits the gavel on the table)
    "Meeting call to order."

The Fence Master: (As he gets a chew of tobacco)
    "What was said about that Willlld-cat Series in that other
    meeting."

Uncle Bobby:
    Hey. The Wildcat Series was MY IDEA.

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "I believe you're right Uncle Bobby. I believe.

Uncle Bobby: (with a half cocked smile)
    "I wasn't trying to take all the credit. I just wanted ya'll to
    give me all the credit."

Pow-Powel:
    "Nothing like a good meal, guys."

Uncle Bobby: (looking out over his reading glasses)
    We have some good things to talk about. I'll let 'the
    weatherman' tell you a little more about it. He attended the
    other meeting. I did not make it. Edgar the Weatherman?"

Edgar the Weatherman: (looking at the ceiling)
    "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I
    believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is
    right."

Pow-Powel: (Picking his teeth with a toothpick)
    "I tell ya.....that sure was a durn good steak I just eat. That
    just may have been the best T-Bone I've ever eaten."

Edgar the Weatherman: (Hesitating before he speaks)
    "Well as most of you may already you know I..UH..I..UH..I
    was talking to Joe BEFORE the meeting. He said we need to
    do what he says. That works best he said. I told him...'no
    problem'. I believe we need to go along to get along. That's
    always  been my modo......Any of you guys ever eat at
    Matt's BarBQ. Some good food there.

Edgar the Weatherman: (As he PATS Uncle Bobby on the Back)
    "It looks like we are going to have some more money for
    the Sire Stakes and Wildcat Stakes. You can thank UNCLE
    BOBBY for that. He did a GREAT job.

Pow-Powel: (Rolling the tooth pick around his mouth)
    "Now...that steak was cooked just right...I tell ya."

Uncle Bobby: (As he PATS Edgar the Weatherman on the back)
    "It's a good thing we have Edgar the Weatherman. He
    agreed to everything........without even asking one single
    question. That's the way he does it. That's what I really like
    about him. And that's why I think we need him so much. He
    doesn't ask to many questions. And doesn't ask for too
    much money. Whatever he says, I'm in favor of.

Pow-Powel: (leans back in his chair and rubs his belly)
    "Man.....that was a good steak. I wish we had a big screen
    TV in here. I could watch Little House on the Prairie"

Edgar the Weatherman: (Puts his GAME FACE on.....)
    "We need to do something about this Safety Vest rule.
    Hey...JUST the Safety Vest rule. We want to leave the Track
    Committee rule alone. It's just like we want it....I would like
    to take care of this task myself. I can do it... I will go before
    the Authority tell them just what I think. I scare them.
    THEY ARE SOOOO AFRAID OF ME!! As long as I have  the
    Cornbread Mafia behind me............WATCH OUT!!!!

The Mailman: (we don't know where this statement came from.)
    "I make a motion to accept Joe's proposal."

The Fence Master: (with a mouthful of tobacco juice)
    "We need to do something. The vests are so hot and
    uncom-fort-able."

Pow-Powel: (sits up straight..first, he looks at the Mailman......)
    "Wait a minute MR POSTMAN....  HEY!!!!! .....Did anyone else
    like their steak? I second The Mailman's motion. Whatever
    in the HECK he is talking about."

Jer-Rail: (hands the fence master a cup...so he can spit)
    "Ok fellers, I tend to want to agree, with the Fence Master,
    cause I'm a pleaser. The reason I agree with him..........he
    always seems to wait....wait to be on the WINNING SIDE of
    the fence. So if he FLIPS....I will FLIP. If he sits, I will sit. I'm
    going back to sleep now.

Lady Boardmember:
    "Edgar the Weatherman...........Why can't we have a
    website that tells people when our meetings are going to
    be? And what was said in the meetings? There a lot of
    things we could do. Why do we have so many misspelled
    words on our site?"

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "Well we don't really say much at our meetings. They are
    closed door anyway. There is another website that puts a
    lot of information up. I never read that site though.
    However, I can tell you exactly what is says. The wife
    doesn't like it much either. She says it's waaay too much
    information for me."

Uncle Bobby:
    "Everybody knows who I am. If they want to know
    something.....'THEY CAN CALL ME'. If the members want
    something done......'THEY NEED TO RUN FOR A SEAT ON THE
    BOARD THEMSELVES'. I make the best decision.....for me.
    It's every man for himself. They know my number. CALL ME."

Lady Boardmember:
    "What do they say. Is it true?"

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "I DON'T READ IT. They asked a lot of questions on there.
    And it has some comedy. Oh yeah....a comment place. But
    like I said..................................I DON'T READ THE SITE."

The General:
    "What kind of questions?"

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "Questions that need to be asked. That site even ask
    questions about me."

The General:
    "If you don't like a book, don't open it."

Pow-Powel:
    "Awe HECK!! I'm sorry guys.....I forgot...they have done
    away with the dinner before the meeting.
    I'm sorry...........I stopped and got that absolutely
    DELICIOUS steak at TEXAS ROADHOUSE.
    Where am I.......ANYWAY.

Uncle Bobby:
    "I make a motion to adjourn."

Edgar the Weatherman:
    "One more thing before we adjourn....For those of you that
    thought this meeting was too long, I don't think it was....
    and here is why I believe it wasn't.
    I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I
    believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is
    right."

Someone is about to receive the  "D.A. of the year Award". And
D.A. does NOT stand for DISTRICT ATTORNEY. Uncle Bobby and
Edgar the Weatherman were neck and neck for this award. As
Kevin Mack says "they were in a ding dong battle". Recently,
Edgar the Weatherman has clearly jumped into a commanding
lead. But it's not over yet........Uncle Bobby won't give up so easy.
This is going be a tough one folks. We may need help. Send a
comment.
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