Big Chuck,
The Skipper and his Little Buddy
I never get a day off. Me and a friend were on the
interstate, on our way to get a bite to eat the other day.
When traffic came to a stand still. I knew something had
happened.

So me being the reporter that I am, I mean, The
GREAT REPORTER that I am, had to get out, and go
investigate the situation.

It appeared that a truck with a horse trailer had flipped
over. Now I thought to myself, "this should be
interesting."  

After asking a whole bunch of questions, I figured that this
accident could have been avoided. Even a CAVEMAN
would know.

    Here's what happened
Big Chuck had the truck, but needed a trailer. The Skipper
had a trailer. So Big Chuck and The Skipper loaded the
horse onto the trailer and off to the vet they go. The
Skipper brought his Little Buddy along. And by the way,
Little Buddy was the brains of this outfit, but no one
asked for his input.

As they make their first turn The Skipper asked Big Chuck,
"What size ball do you have on your truck." Big Chuck
replied, "A two inch ball." The Skipper said, "Big Chuck,
the hitch calls for a two and five sixteenths inch ball." So
Big Chuck being his very intelligent self says, "I do this all
the time." So The Skipper says, "Let's just stop at my
house and get my truck." Big Chuck again replies, "Look,
I do this all the time. It'll be alright. I'm not as dumb as I
look." So The Skipper said Ok. And away they went. (Now,
even a CAVEMAN would know not to do this. He would
know the risk is to great.)





    I also found out a little something
    about BIG CHUCK. You see,
    Big Chuck doesn't really
    like himself. Everyday when he gets
    up, the first thing he sees is himself
    in the mirror. He is completely
    overwhelmed by disappointment
    and anger, and will be mad at somebody
    the rest of the day. But now, the day
    before this happened, the cleaning
    lady had taken down all the mirrors
    for cleaning. And didn't put them back
    up. Which really made Big Chuck's
    mood worse. So BIG CHUCK wasn't
    listening to ANYONE on this day.

Now, they made it to the vet and doctored the horse. Still
another opportunity to think about this. But they didn't.
Oh yeah, Little Buddy ask about changing balls, but he
was ignored.

So, Big Chuck, The Skipper and his Little Buddy are on the
interstate headed home. When all of a sudden the trailer
begins to WEAVE FROM SIDE TO SIDE. (The trailer had
come off the ball, and the chains were still hook to the
truck.) Big Chuck begins to loose control of his truck. Still
WEAVING, the truck gets sideways and heads toward the
other side to oncoming traffic. Luckily the grass and dirt in
the median stopped the truck and trailer. But not before
flipping the trailer with the horse. In the midst of all the
commotion, Big Chuck had a BOWEL MOVEMENT. He, of
course, didn't mean to. He just couldn't help himself.

Little Buddy was very upset. He just wanted to get away
from these guys. And for some reason Little Buddy
demanded that i print the part about Big Chuck's
BOWEL MOVEMENT. I don't think Big Chuck will have to
worry about Little Buddy giving him any advice for awhile.
The Skipper was just happy to finally get out of the truck.
Soon after the police, ambulance, a wrecker and a fire
engine arrived. That's when traffic stopped. And, I got this
story.


I think if there is anything you can learn from this
experience is this:

    HUNTERS,  WORD TO THE WISE...don't
    EVER use 20 gauge shells

in a 12 gauge shotgun!

              It JUST doesn't work.
"Even a caveman
would have told'em
not to do dat.
I think that was a
case of Brain
Failure"
"Untill next time, this is
Hoooomer Simmpson
reporting it like it is,
straight - to - YA."
Just last week, me and Marg went to a seminar. We
learned something. Usually these things are very
very.........extremely boring. But, not this one.

One of the speakers had a really short, but one powerful
story. And you know me.....I had to bring it straight to
YA. It's about two directors of a company.
Experience over Time
    The story is told of two directors in a company who
    were applying for the same position of vice-president
    of marketing. One had been with the company for
    eight years and the other for sixteen years. The
    applicant with eight years got the job.

    The other applicant was EXTREMELY upset. He
    argued that he had twice the experience of the
    person who had received the job.

    The hiring committee explained to him that after
    examining his application, record, and references that
    it was concluded that he did not in fact have sixteen
    years of experience. He had only one year of
    experience that had been repeated sixteen times.

    To advance in any job or vocation requires "getting
    better", not just repeating the same experience year
    after year. Companies and organizations need leaders
    that are learning, growing and developing themselves
    to lead in an ever changing world.
    It's just that simple.
Here's the story in Homer's View
This is  February's top Homer Report.


Ice Duck Hunting

Just last week, three guys decided to go duck hunting on a
frozen lake. One guy is president of Kayak Hiking
Association, one is the executive treasure of the Mr.
Peabody Club the other is Retired.

    It all started, when these three guys went to the
    local strip club. After donating all of their money and
    having few beers, they all decide to go ducking
    hunting on this frozen lake.

    It seems that these hayseeds got the bright idea to
    drive their Escalade onto this frozen lake, and to
    blow a hole in the ice with some DYNAMITE so the
    ducks would have water to land on.

    Now thats wacko in itself, but listen to what these
    genuises do, they light this stick of dynamite and
    throw the thing as far as they can, BUT meanwhile
    they had let their RETRIEVER dog out of the
    Escalade and the dog thinking that they threw
    something for him to retrieve, runs out to get the
    DYNAMITE and bring it back to these losers.

    Now these hayseeds are really panicking, so what do
    the genuises do next, THEY TRY TO SHOOT THE
    DOG, but the idiots had no shot in their guns, and
    they couldn't stop the dog!! Well, the dog runs to
    the Escalade and gets near the hot tailpipe and
    DROPS the dynamite, which blows the heck out of
    the Escalade!!! The retired guy,while getting a chew
    of tobacco, looks at Mr. Peabody, and said, "What do
    you think we should do now".

    The insurance company told the loser, who's the
    owner, to get lost as they do NOT cover vehicles
    blown up by ILLEGAL dynamite!!!
"IIIIIII'M
WATCHING
YOU"
The Homer Report
3/23/07