Homer
Archives
Below
4/26/07
Big Chuck, The
Skipper and his Little
Buddy
5/20/07
Be Prepared

6/8/07
Soar like an Eagle
6/20/07
What's he worth

7/29/07
Who's to Blame

8/16/07
Edgar the
Weatherman

8/23/07
Ring-a-ling

8/28/07
Where is Kevin

9/7/07
Guess Who I Am

9/11/07
Shhhhhhh!
Be Ve-wee Ve-wee
Quiet
"If you're gonna sell Betty, what Betty buys, then you have to see it through Betty's eyes"
THE HOMER REPORT
"IIIIIII'M
WATCHING
YOU"
9/14/07
Home Page
THAT'S RIGHT.
It's what you
think it is. And
   believe-me.
    YOU don't   
     want to go
        there.
Don't smile just yet
Edgar the Weatherman,
your in
THE
WOODSHED
and I'm just
gettin started.
Uncle Bobby does it again
    sing along here folks
    Are you sleeping -- Are you sleeping
    Un-cle Bob -- Un-cle Bob
    Rule are being pa-ast
    Races are being can-celled
    Un-cle Bob -- Un-cle Bob

Now the story goes
Inspector Klipsto gives Uncle Bobby a pat on the back as he
heads to the track to warm up his horse.

Inspector Klipsto:
    "Uncle Bobby are you wearing a safety vests."

Uncle Bobby:
    "N...UH....Yes, Yes I AM wearing a vest."

Uncle Bobby jogs his horse and decides to try and pull a
fast one on the Inspector. He takes his horse out Gate 2,
while Inspector Klipsto was at Gate 1. As Uncle Bobby
exits the track, he quickly hands this horse to Marg. And
he sprints to his barn to search for his safety vests. What
Uncle Bobby didn't know was, that the Inspector was really
close friends with JEFF GORDON. So, the Inspector's Golf
Cart can go from 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds. While Uncle
Bobby was handing off his horse, Inspector Klipsto spin
around doing 3 donuts, headed to Uncle Bobby's barn
and was waiting with his arms crossed. The Inspector
wasn't happy. When Uncle Bobby made it to his barn, his
first thought was "OH S**T!!!" The conversation
continued.

Inspector Klipsto: With a smile.
    "You don't have a safety vest on, Uncle Bobby"

Uncle Bobby: With a serious look
    "Do you know who I am"

Inspector Klipsto:
    "Do you know who I am"

Uncle Bobby:
    "I AM THE PRESIDENT! My name is UNCLE BOBBY."

Inspector Klipsto:
    "I AM the guy that has FINED you $100. If you keep
    talking I'll be the guy that FINED you $250 for
    DISRESPECTING an OFFICIAL. That's who I AM."

Uncle Bobby:
    "But....But, I didn't know about the rule."

Inspector Klipsto:
    "Now you're being dishonest with me. You're the
    President. You are the first guy that knew. I should
    double your fine for that."

Uncle Bobby:
    I'm telling you.....I was UNAWARE!!!!!!

Inspector Klipsto:
    I'm not the one that gets PAID to make sure you
    see the new rules in process. DON'T YOU GUYS
    PAY SOMEONE TO DO THAT. Isn't "Edgar the
    Weatherman" the one that gets paid to do that?

Uncle Bobby:
    "I think he was selling cars that day."

Inspector Klipsto:
    "SELLING CARS!!! You've got to kidding. I want his
    job. Where is the weatherman at right now?"
      
Uncle Bobby: Proudly says
    "He is SELLING CARS. I have to say, no one can
    SELL like Edgar the Weatherman. SELL SELL SELL
    is ALL that's on his mind. He will sell till he sells out.
    HECK!! He'll even SELL YOU OUT!!!! That's why I
    like him. We have a lot in common."

Inspector Klipsto:
    "Well....tell Edgar the Weatherman about your $100
    fine. Maybe he can sell that to someone. Or maybe he
    can sell you a vest. How much is Edgar the
    Weatherman making on those Vests anyway?

That was the end of their conversation. Uncle Bobby
quickly paid his fine and shut up. As Inspector Klipsto
drove away, he shook his head and kept his thoughts to
himself. That's all we know.