- Guess who I am
As a BICYCLE COP I was held accountable
by my superiors.
As a harness driver I was held accountable
at 99-1 by the betting public.
Since I've been the Weatherman, I have yet
to be held accountable for anything.
And yes, I am now a LICENSED official.
WHO AM I?
NOTE: Billy Woodrum never bet on me as a driver.
- Bo Knows Wayne
Actress Bo Derek has been appointed to the
California Horse Racing Commission. As we all
know Wayne Oke serves on the same commission.
One of Wayne's new roles on the commission is to
escort Bo Derek around. He has been seen having
lunch and dinner with the bomb shell actress.
A statement from Wayne: "This is like a dream
come true. It's like I went to bed one night and
when I awoke, I was in California. And now, I'm
having dinner with Bo Derek and in charge of
showing her off -- I mean around.
Please--Please whatever you do......
DON'T WAKE ME UP!!------Not right now."
THE BLACK BOX
Things that could cause a HIGH BLOOD GAS
(They will vary from Trainer to Trainer)
Your horse is dehydrated
Your horse has a LUNG INFECTION (just ask the General)
Iron in the water
Cloudy Weather
Driver Change (don't ask the General about this one)
Feeding supplements that say "DON'T feed on race day"
The thought of giving Baking Soda to your horse
Purchasing a $.50 box of Baking Soda from Walmart.
The #1 cause - (don't ask the General about this one)
Administering TOO MUCH Baking Soda on race day.
Things that could cause a HIGH BLOOD GAS
(They will vary from Trainer to Trainer)
Your horse is dehydrated
Your horse has a LUNG INFECTION (just ask the General)
Iron in the water
Cloudy Weather
Driver Change (don't ask the General about this one)
Feeding supplements that say "DON'T feed on race day"
The thought of giving Baking Soda to your horse
Purchasing a $.50 box of Baking Soda from Walmart.
The #1 cause - (don't ask the General about this one)
Administering TOO MUCH Baking Soda on race day.
| Where's the Beef WITH ALL DUE RESPECT and................I AM! saying WITH all due respect. THE RED MILE Home of Matt Falcome and the $6 burger. OH YEAH, don't forget the $3.50 beer. "Mr Cajun Man" has a new slogan: "Save the cows, eat less beef." We have a Question for "Mr Cajun Man" : What do you get when you have a Burger Price Increase + Beef Quality Decrease We have an Answer for "Mr Cajun Man": Burgers that SUCK!!! PS. College town + $3.50 beer = No College patrons |
STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH
being scratched. The General is pleading "THEY HAD A LUNG INFECTION".
this to us: (Remember he was whispering when he told us this. So no one else heard him.)
being scratched. The General is pleading "THEY HAD A LUNG INFECTION".
this to us: (Remember he was whispering when he told us this. So no one else heard him.)
- "Hey I don't want to get myself in trouble...you know, so I have to be very quiet in
telling, but I want you to know that it's just a coincidence that my stable-mates
raced like champions on the same night I got scratched. And I want you to know the
driver change had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with me being HIGH. But there is one
thing that I DO know now for sure, and that is - 1 OUNCE does make a difference.
By the way, if I had it my way, I'd add some chocolate to that liquid watery stuff my
trainer was calling a Milkshake. And I'd rather not have the straw stuck in my nose."
| by Terry Cullipher |
| Publish Date:8/12/08 The Homer Report Archives KyHarnessRacing.com FloridaHarnessRacing.com |