The Daily Chronicles of
RONNIE the SPACEMAN

The Spaceman says:
"Hello everyone. These are some parts from my
diary. Although, many of you know me, or think
you know me, I am going to use this spot to let
my fans get to know me a little better. I have
too much info to tell you at one time, so I'll give
a couple of things at a time - periodically.

Dear Diary,                                                          
Today I will start by telling you the difference
between me and Neil Armstrong.

First, let me start with my name of SPACEMAN.
Let's just say I didn't get the name Spaceman
by walking on the moon, as did Neil Armstrong.
However, when I go into space I have both feet
planted firmly on the ground - if you know what I
mean. Neil Armstrong can say he walked on the
moon, I can say I've been out there. That's all I
got to say about me and Neil Armstrong. Thanx.

Dear Diary,                                                           
Second thing today is, I think I really messed up
today. I went to a friend's house and told his
wife, "Mike said I could use his BRAND NEW
tractor." Well...I didn't tell her that I was using
the bucket to bust my concrete sidewalk. When
Mike got home he was mad at me. He mumble
"you're a f**kin idiot" when he saw his tractor.
I told him I was sorry, but he didn't have any
compassion for me. I feel bad for him, but my
sidewalk looks great. And I now know a new
bucket for a tractor costs $10,000. I don't know
why he won't let me use his tractor anymore.
That's all from me for now."

Thank you Dear Diary, for listening to me. I can't
wait to write to you again. Next time I will write
about some my most embarrassing interviews.   
        
Your friend THE SPACEMAN                                   
      
You're next
Spaceman,
I
WANT
YOU
Spaceman Gets the Shaft
(from the spaceman himself)

I have a new favorite song -- I find myself singing it all the
time. Here it is:

(feel free to sing along)
"She Got The Goldmine,
Spaceman Got The Shaft"

Anyone know a really good Dvrce lawyer - I could use one
right about now. Well this may a good time for me to go on
one of those space trips - weeeeeee. There's a burnout
phase going into and coming out of space. She loves
me....she loves me not...she loves me.....she loves me
not....she loves me...
she loves me not......I told you so.
The
Double-Standard Syndrome

Oh But He's Such A Good Boy
vs.
The Industry Doesn't Need Guys Like Him

The great thing about the horse racing industry is:

Your Heros are laying in the eyes of the each individual. So
who is your hero?
BACKSIDE PRODUCTIONS  IN COOPERATION WITH THE OFFICIALS ASSOCIATION
PRESENTS

A NEW FILM BY The Downs

BATMAN
RETURNS

Batman has a new weapon. Boy Wonder ran away.
Commissioner Gordon has given his approval.

BACKSIDE PRODUCTIONS  in cooperation with THE OFFICIALS ASSOCIATION
BATMAN   COMMISSIONER GORDON   EDGAR THE WEATHERMAN   PROFESSOR PERKINS
HEF    UNCLE BOBBY AS "THE GREEN MONKEY"  JER-RAIL
THE MISSISSIPPI GANG   bIG AL- "THE HORSEMEN'S PAL"   INSPECTOR KLIPSO

COMING SOON

to a Kentucky Racetrack near you
the show begins April 9th
by Terry Cullipher
Publish Date:3/12/08     The Homer Report Archives            KyHarnessRacing.com           FloridaHarnessRacing.com